I used to be glamorous, independent, and energetic. Where is that person? She either disappeared into the world of too much laundry or into the shoe box with my gorgeous Yellow Pumps, last worn before motherhood.
My world began like a romantic movie with an opening tragedy and an inevitable destined romance. I didn’t realize that getting married to the man of my dreams transformed me into a wife. A few years later I won the baby lottery and had three kids, otherwise called- I am not a hottie anymore. I was happy and excited, but mostly shocked.
What happened to me?
I studied for about 20 challenging years learning math, science, English literature. I majored in psychology and continued for a professional degree as a Physician Assistant. Yet in those years there was never a class titled- “Learning to be a Wife and Mother 101.” Would I have laughed while reading the syllabus, or considered that it might prepare me for my future reality?
30 years later… I am a culinary chef. I am a teacher. I am a police officer. I am a cleaning crew. I am a psychologist, behaviorist, and social worker. I am a car service, laundry mat and so much more. I have a job, an endless on call profession. I didn’t take a college course, a board exam, a summer internship, or have a fellowship requirement. I have the degree that has no preliminary training the-
“Welcome to Motherhood” Degree!
I felt like an expert after three kids, everything was eventually learned and perfected even without a formal education. My life got tangled into caring about the family and the only obstacle was ME.
I -forgot- how art was a big part of my identity.
I- forgot- I was a good dancer.
I -forgot- so much of my own self, while caring for everyone else.
I rummaged through the laundry searching, thinking about why I allowed myself to forget? Then, it occurred to me if I find my shoe box with my gorgeous Yellow Pumps it might trigger my memory. I took out the yellow pumps from hiding and pushed them onto my slightly bigger feet. I wobbled towards the mirror wearing the shoes of my younger self. The abandoned yellow pumps were exactly how I remembered. The memories of myself flowed back out of hiding with the help of my Yellow Pumps. I knew high heels were powerful!
I used to be glamorous, independent, and energetic.
I am that person! I am Glamorous!
I just -forgot-.
I'll have to wear the Yellow Pumps more often to remember.